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Written by Administrator Saturday, 18 February 2006 19:00

In a piece published in the Christian Reader, Kathy Plate relates that “while visiting a neighbor, five-year-old Andrew pulled out his kindergarten class picture and immediately began describing each classmate. ‘This is Robert; he hits everyone. This is Stephen. He never listens to the teacher. This is Mark. He chases us and is very noisy.’ Pointing to his own picture, Andrew commented, ‘And this is me. I’m just sitting here minding my own business.’ ”

I don’t know if Andrew was truly honest about himself, but he paints an accurate picture of too many children in our day. We have all witnessed the fits and tantrums that take place in a store when a child doesn’t get his or her own way. And I was speaking to a discouraged public school teacher just this week about the struggles of maintaining discipline and respect in the classroom. These are not merely anecdotal, but symptomatic of a widespread trend. Here are some stats:

In 2002, only 9 percent of adults were able to say the children they saw in public were respectful toward adults. This figure was revealed by Public Agenda, a nonprofit and nonpartisan research group.

In 2004, more than one out of three teachers considered leaving their profession or were acquainted with another teacher who quit. The reason? Students’ “intolerable behavior” (Public Agenda poll).

In 2005, 70 percent of those living in America declared, “People are ruder than they were 20 or 30 years ago.” Among the worst offenders: children (Associated Press-Ipsos poll published in The New York Times, 11/27/05)

Why has this happened? Experts say it’s because of what parents expect from kids. “The pressure to do well is up. The demand to do good is down, way down …” (emphasis added). How interesting!

Harvard University child psychologist Dan Kindlon believes most parents want considerate, polite, well-behaved children. “But they’re too tired, worn down by work, and personally needy to take up the task of teaching them proper behavior at home.”

He also observes that present-day parenting has to do with training boys and girls to compete, in school or on the soccer field. But competition doesn’t teach civility.

Dr. Alvin Rosenfeld, a child psychiatrist, warns: “Parents are out of control. We always want to blame the kids, but if there’s something wrong with their incivility, it’s the way their parents model for them.”

Good kids don’t just happen. Good kids aren’t born that way. Good kids aren’t just “the luck of the draw.” Good kids are the product of hard work, faithful guidance, loving patience, consistent example, persistent prayer, and above all … God’s grace. Yes, every child must choose between right and wrong … but be diligent to give them every reason to choose right!

-- Sparky